It is a Truth Universally Acknowledged....

Everyone hates bagpipes.

They're abrasive. They're harsh. That's the same thing. They're reminiscent of funerals. They're creepy. They take the place of a loud voice early in the morning. They're the devil's music. They're an instrument of torture.

They are so beautiful

But really! They are beautiful.

Perhaps it's because they're synonymous with the Highlands and the Scots. Perhaps because they are a relic of the past. Perhaps because they are haunting - I love them. Listening to bagpipes - especially mixed with drums - is so...freeing. It brings to minds war and funerals and battles and love and family and sacrifice and injusticie and.....

It's beautiful.

And everone else hates them. Or at least the prevailing sentiment seems to be so - I remain perplexed why anyone would.

And obviously, not everyone hates them. How else would they still manage to crop up in parades and platoons? People obviously still enjoy them.

However, whenever one needs an example of horrid sound, bagpipes, caterwauling cats, and nails on chalkboards seem to be the general fallback.

Interestingly enough, bagpipes have actually been ruled in a court of law as an instrument of war. Apparently, in 1746, a man was put on trial for being part of a Jacobite rebellion. His lawyers argued that he was innocent given that he held no weapon; but the judge answered that the bagpipe itself - a thing always with the Scottish soldiers - was a weapon. The man was convicted and hung.

....I wonder if the judge hated the sound.

I suppose that in a way it's much like recorders. I don't know WHO invented those things - but they ought to be extinguished from all time and space.

Yes. I'm well awares that others say the same of bagpipes.

However! Just because I love their sound, it doesn't mean I can't find jokes about them quite humourous.

Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?

A. It's harder to hit a moving target.

 

Q. What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper?

A. Good question. We're still trying to figure that out.

 

Q. What's the definition of a 'gentleman'?

A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpips, and doesn't.

 

Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?

A. No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe.

 

Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?

A. You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.

 

Q. What do you call a bagpiper with half a brain?

A. Genius.

 

Q. How can you tell an out of tune bagpiper?

A. Someone is blowing in it.

 

Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions: the in-tune bagpiper, the out of tune bagpiper, or Santa Claus?

A. The out of tune bagpiper - the other two indicate you have been hallucinating.

perhaps one day I'll make that tartan skirt and shawl.....  I did find a kilt at a thirft store once, but sadly hadn't the money to buy it....

Alack-a-day! Perhaps another time.

This is rather short actually......