Don't Get Too Close - He'll Bite Your Neck

Well.

I don't think anyone reads this. Isn't that terrific? It means I can post basically anything because no one. complains. It's terrific!

That being said, I apologise to the future reader that finds this mess and wonders what in the world was wrong with me....

and I figured out how to post videos, so this will be a video heavy post. Just as a warning. I will summarise each video - but I reccommend watching them. They're quite hilarious.

Well, unless you don't like dry humour.....  Then...I've no idea what to say.

Guess what? This is a continuation of my last post! Surprise, surprise, one and all. I know everyone will be shocked. I didn't think it polite to dump everything in that one post.  This way, I can stretch it out a few days.

From what I've been able to gather about Morecambe and Wise, it tends to be entirely dry humour and running gags. This makes a lot  of sense if you bear in mind that Cushing stared mostly as Dr. Frankenstein, Sherlock Holmes, and Abraham Van Helsing. The latter is the source of the endless vampyric references; because although he wasn't himself a vampyre, he hunted them. Thus Morecambe's endless mockery.

This specific video is the very first time Peter was brought on the show, with Morecambe and Wise introducing him. Or, better said, Wise introducing him and Morecambe generally mocking everything. It's the the prelude to either the play 'Sherlock and the Hound of the Baskervilles', 'King Arthur and the Forty Assorted Dogs', 'King Kong and the Forty Assorted Dogs', or 'King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table'. Depending on who you ask when.

Poor Peter....  He's actually having endless fun though - I have no idea how he manages to keep a straight face throughout this - or any of the rest - sketch. And yet, he does.... For the most part - occassionally he has to look away - but he keeps a straight face nonetheless! Wise rarely bothers to try....

And the continuation to the first video, literally. Here is the sketch of 'King Arthur and the Round Table'. Merlin is Wise and is deaf and sounds like a weird chipmunk, Morecambe is still dressed still as Sherlock Holmes only with a helmet on his head, and Queen Guenevere appears and is mistaken continuously by Morecambe to be Watson and is the only other one besides Cushing to be taking it halfway seriously.

Granted, Wise is trying (not really) to reign his partner in, but still....  And then, in a scene even better than Princess Bride, basically everyone poisons each other. Cushing escapes, but uses Morecambe's trick against him.

.....Just saying: if Cushing were a vampyre, he probably WOULD have bitten Morecambe.

Probably the most interesting thing concerning this  was Morecambe's declaration concerning doing a show 'all the way through', not 'cutting it up the way they do in films'. Because that was a feeling of many - although more from Theatre to film than television.

And that in a nutshell is what makes Cushing's films fun, almost entirely regardless of plot or budget: HE is worth watching. I really don't think I've seen all they do in that clip yet - I always end up watching him.

It's almost funnier than the lines to watch Cushing rolling his eyes and trying not to laugh at Morecambe's antics.

 

"I did send the money, and it was returned to the post 'address unknown'."

 

"And what address did you use?"

 

"We sent it to 'Peter Cushing, care of Frankenstein's Hall, 42 Baker Street, Whitsable near Kent."

 

"...I'm very surprised it didn't reach me."

 

"So were we! Remind you, I must be honest: the postman was found three days later in the ditch with two little holes in his mailbag."

 



Ah...  This one is...such fun. They all are - but I truly love watching Cushing. And I love the letter's address.

Four years after the first two videos, and he still hasn't been paid. Although, apparently, the cheque was sent! Given Morecambe addressed it, who knows why it didn't show up or why Dracula apparently attacked the postman..... The latter half of the video is the trio singing 'Couple of Swells' (I think that's the name?) because Cushing refuses to leave them before he's paid.

I always love crossovers and referenes, and this is simply replete with them.

Cushing has such a nice voice too! For singing. And I love the song. This version at least. Garland's and Rooney's was alright - but this trio is so much more amusing and enjoyable.

If I didn't enjoy acting before, I certainly would now. He is just...so much fun to watch! And Lee is right: he enunciates everything.

Horrid quality - but I've such troubles finding these again that at least I'll include it for my own pleasure.

....Morecambe never does let the vampyric references go. Honestly??  But then again - they never pay him either....

'Instantly recogniseable'????  Well, you just disproved that....

SERIOUSLY MORECAMBE??????  There is something terribly wrong with him...  But it's completely hilarious.

And they're horrible to Peter.

Basically, Cushing shows up to be paid, ten years after the first time he's on the show. Morecambe agrees to pay him - to Cushing's joy and relief. At which point, Morecambe asks Peter if he can change a twenty (peter can), asks for a ten, tells Peter he owes him ten, and then takes the rest of the twenty. No, he doesn't pay him - he takes the money FROM him.

And to several other celebrities too that came back on the show to get paid.  Morecambe and Wise are experts at escaping that duty....

On Youtube, there is the complete Morecambe and Wise 1970 Christmas Special. peter Cushing reappears several times to be paid, and is locked into a box and sawn in half once; and then at the end after Morecambe and Wise are paid by the queen in the Musketeer sketch, he and a few other actors take it as their pay - only Morcambe cut the bottom from the bag so they leave the money behind....

I think in another Christmas Special he actually did get paid (when Morcambe and Wise were caroling 'outside' Downing Street) but I think they managed to rig that as well....

Cushing - and Wise - were on This Is Your Life, and Wise is asked to do the 'honourable thing'.  Unsurprisingly, he STILL doesn't pay him...

Cushing is also incredibly annoying. He can play villain or hero or rarely seen background character, and he's still likeable. Those are very annoying actors that do that - and yet, they're also the best actors. So admirable - and yet so annoying. "Who's your favourite character?" "The villain." "Why in the world?" "Well....."

Anyway....

Well, I've got to post this now or I'll get the order all mixed up!!