I'm Fine

You get up in the morning.

You get out of bed and get dressed. You do your hair, brush your teeth, do your makeup if you want. You eat your breakfast and open the door and you go out to face the world.

You do a day's worth of work, and you get by. You could do better, but you could do worse. You could fight harder, but you could give up.

You're fine. You laugh and cry and play and fight - you're just like everyone else. Sure, there are happier people. Sure, there are people that have more. But there are also people with less. Much less.

So then why do you want to stay in bed?

Why do you hide beneath the duvet? Why do you stumble into the bathroom and stare at the mirror for hours, wondering why you're even bothering? Why do you pull on a shirt and trousers, and wonder if anyone would notice if you wore the same thing twice?

Why do you choke down your food, or tell yourself you'll eat later? Why do you laugh and wish you were screaming? Why do you lie and wish you were telling the truth?

Do you even know what truth is anymore?

Is what you see what everyone else sees?

There are voices in your head. That sounds wrong - but there are. They whisper and clamour, and they shriek and cut and you're holding them all in - wondering when your mind became the prison for them. You lay down to sleep at night, but they won't shut up. They follow you outside, and you scream at them - and then look up to realise that everyone hears you, but can't hear the voices.

So you push yourself to exhaustion. You keep going and going and going - because you don't care any more. And you don't care that you don't care. and this terrifies you - but you still just can. Not. Care. And you don't know why.

You have too much to do. You're slacking. You're lying in bed when there are things to do. You didn't do well on that last project - you need to work harder, make up for it. You're better than this - you know it!

You can sleep when you're dead.

You'll live with it. You always have. The voices say something's wrong - but it's all on you. If you were better, this wouldn't be happening. If you were better, you wouldn't be failing. If you were better, you wouldn't be so weak.

This is all you know. This is all you are. You don't remember another life. This is the way everyone lives.

So you get up in the morning, and you smile. You dress up, and you eat breakfast, and you work. Because there are others so very much worse off than you. They're more tired. Their cuts are deeper. They stand on the side of a bridge and look down.

You only stand on the window ledge.

You're fine.

All Around Me Are Familiar Faces....

In which I thought for certain that Person of Interest was airing its fifth series in January.

My mistake.

I think it's coming out in May.

DID ANYONE ELSE SEE THE END OF THAT EPISODE THAT IS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL - alright, not too much.....We've had worse cliffhangers - there is that memorable one where the main character was exiled but then had to be called back on the plane to address a certain problem that arose on home soil that none but he could solve.... - PUNISHMENT!!!!

"The Final Problem" wasn't really that bad. I mean, you knew he was alive, and you knew he'd be coming back - it would have been a WHOLE lot worse if they'd ended that episode about the point where Richard Brook is discovered because that? That would have been cruel. (I think the first series ended on a cliffhanger too? I can't recall where in the Pool Scene it ended...... So, actually, Reichenbach was the kindest finale. Isn't that sad.

Thank you, Moffat, for taking pity on the people that just had everything crushed and minced into tiny pieces and not making them wait on a real cliffhanger. Now that I'm crying, I'll watch something to cheer me up....  I loved the Weeping Angels - let's watch "Angels Take Manhattan".)

If you didn't sense the irony and sarcasm in that sentence, you have not seen the episode.

Don't watch the episodes like that.

And I basically did just that too. So then I went to watch Murdoch as it had been reccomended to me and good. grief. 

The Hobbit was a double-edged sword.

Come on - the Hobbit finally being adapted??  What was there NOT to like?  The countless references and throwbacks and treats and - I have no words for how much I was looking forward to it. (There were two times I literally screamed with joy: Coulson was alive, and opening a box to find the first film of the trilogy in it) And I had to wait a year until it came out in theatres and I could. not. wait.

It was also really, really, really fun.

Then The second and the third came out and it went from 'forgivable mistakes' to 'this is torture but still barely worth it' to 'I'm never watching this again'.

I honestly don't want to watch it. Maybe fastforward to the best parts (DRAGON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but on the whole.....   I can still rewatch LOTR again and again, and have only seen The Hobbit once and....why. Just...why.

However, for all its faults, the trilogy stars Martin Freeman and features Benedict Cumberbatch. Who looked very, very, very familiar.

They played in a short series that I had said I wouldn't watch because WHO MOVES HOLMES FORWARD IN TIME WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS RUINING THE STORY yeah I really need to stop saying that......

I watched that series a year before the Third aired. That was nice. Compared to this one. But  still. So, I was introduced to fanfiction. Thank you or sorry depending on which day it is.

Of course, this was when I figured out how to watch episodes online and.....well, it went downhill from there.

So then. Fanfiction. And fanvideos - those things have the horrid habit of spoiling things.....

Reading fanfiction and my atrociously annoying sense of humour eventually led to writing prose for it - poetry doesn't count unless a name is used and I don't do that. Now, have I ever been good at.....moderation in writing? I. Think. Not.

So if I hadn't ever seen The Hobbit, I wouldn't have ninety percent of the problems concerning writing and reality and...headspace that I have now.

.....I also wouldn't have some of the best story ideas in my collection, nor would I have met.....well, any of my friends that I still have.

So. Double-edged sword.

And I found the rest of the cars - I knew there were more....  There is a total of seven cars. Not counting just plain old cars.

......no, people experimenting with recreating Iron man's suit will NOT be working in the garage. I'll manage your house for you dear, but you're NOT ruining things.

It's a joke. I know someone that would love to have and get a mansion with extensive grounds (I'm going to call him Luke). He also doesn't want to run it. So? He declared that he'll get it, and I'll run it. (Yes, thank you - I always aspired to be a housekeeper......) Honestly, I'd love it - a MANSION what is there not to like?? Besides, we like a lot of the major things so....decorations and collections would mesh.

However, he's really, really good at science, math and engineering and one of the things he aspires to do is build a functional Iron Man suit.

He could do it.

But he's not reaching greatness in the garage or near any valuables I might have or protect.

Nor in the general vicinity of the house or grounds - as much as he's likely to suceed, he's also very likely to forget everything else.

Fun!

Have you ever been asked what you would like as a gift?

Invariably, there are three outcomes. Either, you have absolutely nothing you want, you want nothing that anyone else could get you, or you remember what you wanted AFTER they leave and it falls into the second category anyway.

It's annoying.

And what is the plural of 'hiatus'? It just...doesn't look right at all any way it's spelt....

Ménage à...Douze? Vingt? Trente? Cent?

So I like languages. And Literal translations. The title simply translates to 'household of....twelve? Twenty? Thirty? One Hundred?' Ask not my reasons...... Well, it's simply for the fandoms I'm a part of - just how many ARE there.....

I had forgotten how I ever started watching Merlin. It was one of those series I had heard about, but it wasn't reccommended to me and since I read legends, I knew generally what would happen.

Thankfully, the series did manage to leave out the worst things and the closest it came to it was done by a ghost and not real, so.....  Anyway.

But I was first introduced to the series proper through that music video - but never wanted to watch it.

How then did I go from never wanting to watch it to finishing the series?

I was watching bloopers of another series and absently weighing the pros and cons of starting that series - the cons must always come out. That's just principle - and remembered that I had done this before and I finally remembered how I started watching Merlin.

It goes right up there with ever, ever, ever say that I 'won't' or I 'can't'.

You'd think that since it invariably contradicts itself later that if I said that I would never be happy or that I can't be happy or good - you'd think THAT would contradict itself too. No. Of course not. THAT remains true as spoken, of course.

Probably Résmar's.....

Is anything predictable?

and then people say that I complicate things - that life has a lot of black and white. EVERYTHING HAS AN EXCEPTION!! There is basically almost no such thing as absolutes.

Even THAT has - I just completely paradoxed my head........  Alright. So there's absolutely no absolutes except that one and God. So almost no absolutes but God? That sounds better. I think.

I don't know - I got really, really twisted up in that. I'll leave it alone.

I just sort of realised that my house is First, going to be large; and Second, going to be incredibly dangerous.

Do you know how many weapons and traps and poisons there are from films and series??  Do you know how much I would really, really, really like?

And let's not get started on my own weapons. Basically every family line has a blade design to match their heralds - and then there's the stone angels!!  Every single angel has a sword. Very, very sharp, delicate, deadly sword.

I love fantasy worlds. And deleting earth - it makes it easier to make everything work seamlessly.

I'd also have to have so many trinkets and replicas and...I think there's only two vehicles. The other one was dull.

ah, but that's what dreams are for, right? So you can hope for the impossible.

"Moriarty, if evil for evil's sake were a pathological condition, that would be your diagnosis."

So the Russian Moriarty is probably the absolute best in comparison to canon. He literally looks as if he walked off Paget's illustrations. Next would be Andrew Scott hands down through and through if just because - while he's completely inaccurate - he is so. much. fun. Jared's turn in Game of Shadows was on par with Scott's. The only complaint with him is that he's not true to the books and isn't as good as Scott. But then again, most of those films aren't......

Elementary's Moriarty is the only reason I'd watch the series but I can think of another series I won't watch that I'd watch before Elementary. The things WRONG with that series!!!  Just...why. No. Please. That being said - their handling of Moriarty is...unique and brilliant and I would have enjoyed seeing it if it weren't for the other MAJOR faults with that series that make it rather unwatchable.

Let me see......Rathebone's was....dull. Rather. I found most of those dull, actually - but it was probably a good thing I saw them before I read all of the cases.

Who else have I seen...... I've seen a few representations in other series - but most of those tend to be of Holmes rather than Moriarty (predominatly, Murdoch Mysteries - which has the best side story for the ressurection of Holmes EVER and good grief you should at least just go watch that episode. (and then the whole series....) It is.....brilliant. Given the time and how famous Holmes was. Brilliant, parfait.

Made by Angelique

(so, example of my horrid learning of languages. There's 'parfait', 'magnifique', 'fantastique', 'superbe'....These are all easy to figure out when I forget them. And then there's 'formidable'. No, it doesn't mean 'formidable'. It means something similar to the preceding words - but I can't recall the exact translation!!  So I use it and know what it means, but I couldn't translate it......  This is why I can't teach languages....)

There was Roché's portrayal of Moriarty (or of a man playing Moriarty) and that....was the best part of the episode. Honestly, that was another well-handled episode. **SPOILERS FOR CSI 4X11 OR SOMETHING** Given Holmes was the one shot and that the suspects were Irene Adler, Watson, and Moriarty - or the people portraying them which shall henceforth be understood as such - the obvious choices for the murderer would have been Moriarty or Watson. Moriarty because he's Holmes' nemesis, and Watson because he was his friend - it would have been a twist. Instead, it was Adler - the one that.....didn't come to mind for an obvious option. So, bravo! It was worth watching albeit the subtext was confusing.

It reminded me of when I started watching The Mentalist - I started with "Pretty Red Balloon" and "Red Bricks and Ivy", and the later was in the fourth series and the former in the first; and I watched them in that order. So I had NO idea what was going on, who anyone was......  (You can watch Red Balloon on it's own and I do reccommend it if you like precedurals. Jane is.....an infuriating pleasure to watch. Not the best, but he was certainly worth the series.)

That series is also the only one I've caught up to and then finished as it aired. I've got a bad habit of catching up and then letting the series finish before catching up again. Murdoch especially - although I've not caught up to that yet. Castle  on the other hand.....No. That is.....I'm almost willing to quit the thing except Castle and Beckett are so much fun when they're not infuriating.

(For anyone considering that series - you will be tortured with more torture than anyone has been tortured before unless maybe they watched the

Hobbit expecting it to be like the book. The series does make the wait completely worth it - but then they turned around and ruined it and almost made me quit. So.......you'll hate it, but it's worth it.

Do not go to me for reccommendations for I will say both 'no' and 'yes'. Unless i know you and your personality VERY well, at which point I can give you a more...narrowed answer.)

But I had forgotten how much Grace hated Jane at the beginning...... And I always thought Roché looked familiar because he looks quite similar to Jonathan Harris' Dr. Smith - but he was actually in The Mentalist. That at least is more plausible.  (So I was rewatching some of Jane's best episodes. And then realised that as long as Red John wasn't in them or one of his murders wasn't, they were all good....  So there was that. I was going to watch the one with the blind car driving - but I got very distracted. what's new!)

By Grabthar's Hammer....

Alright. So he'd happily toss me out of an airlock.

He was the main reason I ever enjoyed the film enough to notice the parodical nature of the film and the homage it pays, and by that point I'd memorised nearly the entire film and enjoyed it on it's complete merits.

It is sort of like House of Long Shadows  - and this may be a spoiler in and of itself, but I think I'm the only one in this corner that watches the old films of that sort, so.... - in that it is a film that only works as a parody, as it was made. If - as the aforementioned film was in Britain - it was marketed as a serious contribution to the genre, it would likely....what's the English word for it....bomb? No, that's good....  Oh, forget it - the film would recieve low ratings in theatre and would not be remembered well. However, if it was marketed as a comedy, then-!  It's humourous on it's own merits, but standing upon the history of all it parodies! It adds to it.

But that was a side note that I just realised.

No, I was thinking about Galaxy Quest. There have only been.....four or five series of Star Trek? Not including the old spin-off films? Six if you count the reboot series, even though it's in film and not television format. But nonetheless, there have been a LOT. And that's ignoring the countless books.

So I had been musing on how a reboot of that film would work - sort of a reunion. (I work in corssovers.....) Obviously, it wouldn't happen - like so many other things, any continuation would bring the entire house of cards tumbling down. But.....  I mean, perhaps to answer the Reboot films? Now THAT would be an interesting scene to parody - and then I remembered.

It's completely impossible.

Well, in any way that would interest me at least. My humour is best dry, and.....

I always enjoyed watching Spock and McCoy. Kirk was my first favourite when I was young, but he was too brash and plain - too.....innocent, in a way. Always escaping punishment. As he said, he never likes to lose. I've never really cared for that type of character. Better the man - or woman - that has lost and paid a dear cost and yet struggled up again than the person that has escaped all consequences. McCoy and Spock? Both have lost and both got up again.

That they have the MUCH more intruiging interaction attracted my attention long before my characterising skills were discovered though - my brother and I were always wont to repeat their lines forever....  I could never manage Spock's perfectly straight face although I aft agreed with his sentiments - or lack thereof - so I took McCoy's side. He had the more....lengthy speeches anyway, and the more opportunity....creative lines.

I suppose that if you combined the language of Spock and McCoy and took away their bravery then you would have Dr. Zachary Smith from a show that ran alongside Star Trek, Lost in Space. The bravery, the heartlessness, the humanity, the flawed nature, the ability to seem above it all - to be above it all, the ability to care so much and yet to seem like he doesn't care at all....

Hm..... Interesting.

Alright. So Smith is stereotyped as an eternally dumb coward who sells his 'family'  - for lack of a better term - out to the highest bidder and then runs back to them for help when everything invariably goes wrong, but......

***SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!***

He is a spy. A spy in a place where to be caught would be treason and so would end in death. And he is a doctor - the last man checking the pioneers out. He is also trusted to sabotoge the complex ship in such a way that it would not be detected until too late. He is also intelligent enough to hide himself once he realises that he is trapped with the people he tried to murder.

He is not dumb. He is a doctor - the highest doctor in the facility. so he has to be the best of the best of the best - this was a space journey. He also understand the ship and so has some knowledge of mechanics. And he DESIGNED the Robot. If not

actually built it, then the theory and the programming behind it.

He's not a coward. All men are cowards at heart, and he simply uses it as a cover, knowing the Robinsons will protect one that they believe is weaker than them; but he took the job as a spy. I do not see anyone forcing him to do something he did not wish to do.

He also has a high ranking in the military and many medals that he earned, although I can't recall those at the moment - but he is not a weak or cowardly man.

So if you combined Spock and McCoy? You would have Dr. Smith.

.........if you bear in mind that they ran at the same time and Jonathan Harris gradually changed the character so as to keep him from being the useless villain to be killed off - Smith really is the only reason to watch the series, and did end up stealing the show in the later series aired. However, one must get through the first few episodes........ - so my line of thinking may not be ENTIRELY implausible.

Only mostly.

Have I mentioned that I can find plausible ways to link all of the shows that I watch together?

Anyway.....

There are some things that irk me immensely. Granted, this list is probably longer than I remember given it fades and shifts as my interest waxes and wanes - but for the most part, there are a few constants.

Have you ever found out about a terrific character? Great story arc, great lines, terrific humour, good morals (or the like), terrific personality, good style, etcetra, etcetra, etcetra.....  The only problem being that the character is in something that you could never ever watch or read because the rest of it is rubbish?
Quite annoying. Frustrating rather. Right on par with that is the terrific character who is there for all of two minutes in two hours. Lovely....

Or what about actors? Usually, I shy away from all having to do with them. There tends to be too much drama and hypocrisy, but since I've noticed some actors tend to play the same sort of character - such as, if I like one portrayal, there is a chance I'll like the others - I watch more things they're in. The drawback to this? I usually like the characters that appear for two seconds or I can't see, and generally, the rest of the roles are the same. Great, certainly - but I can never see it. Or, even better than this, they tend to play in genres that I can't or won't watch at all!

You don't.

Welcome to my ramblings!

No Wealth, No Ruin, No Silver, No Gold....

So about a year ago, I created a character.

He's very dark, sarcastic, aloof...

Originally, he was only supposed to be a passing character, written to interact with  better characters - written to fix plotholes and to...play around a little bit. He was never supposed to really become anything.

But I suppose I should have known that that would not go as planned either.

He sort of started a book.

It's quite an interesting book, on a rather....abstract level. It's about a Quadrumvirate of siblings, each ruling a part of....the world. The Brothers are greater, unchanging. They will always be there. Their two sisters are more...fluid. They always exist as well, but they're a bit more...tempermental? They change.

While setting this world up, I stumbled across yet another interesting Supernatural character: Death.

And he looked incredibly, annoyingly familiar.

I hadn't seen anything else he was in, and figured it was just because of his similarity (loose thereof) to Richard E. Grant. Which, there is that too - but it wasn't right. Earlier today, I was trying to find some pictures to make a wallpaper, and I found a different picture. Now, I happen to know that Death does not die in Supernatural being run over by a carriage. Nor does he basically ever wear brown. And I highly doubt that he would become a corpse - he disintegrates.



A Nero Wolfe Mystery. I can't recall his name here and don't remember much of his part save that he was reading some sort of rubbish and Archie hated it. And had to sit through it - it was quite amusing. The episode was "Death of a Doxy", and is good. Well, all of those episodes are - Hutton is a good actor, and the whole thing is set in the...Thirties I believe. The hair's not right for the Twenties, and the show is supposed to be pretty accurate. The acting at least is terrific.

And no, that picture isn't from the episode of which I speak - but he was in several, as every other actor on the series, as different pictures. I just couldn't find pictures of the one I spoke of.

For the longest time, that was the only thing I ever saw of that series, given it was incredibly hard to find. They are finally all on Youtube now - too late for me, but still.

Phillip Uxbridge (who HAS  surname like that??). From Murdoch Mysteries. An excellent episode concerning mummies and ancient Egypt and, of course, murder. Of an apparently supernatural kind, and thus the shenanigans that ensue every time that comes up. (Now, I find the placing rather ironic...  Nonetheless)

He's also in Kingdom Hospital but I've never actually watched that series yet, and can't even remember who or why it was recommended......  Nevertheless.

Nope, not in the slightest - whyever would you think that??

I've known about and have watched Murdoch Mysteries for a while - quite before I learnt anything about SPN. Thus? Death looked familiar because I had seen Richings before.

I love it when I can solve mysteries like that....

Which, speaking of Murdoch Mysteries, it reminds me of two things: it really is a toss-up whether Castle or Murdoch Mysteries made me more willing to forgo watching anything ever - never was decided. I don't think either have calmed down yet....

Grant says it perfectly.

So, Juliette and Adalind and Nick might be infuriating - but they've not yet reached THAT level of 'why am I still watching this and WHY do I keep coming back' that the other two did.

Not saying they weren't worth watching, I'd reccommend them to anyone in a heartbeat, but that they were more annoying that usual.

Why do they have to be so mean to the characters I like??

Not nice, Precious - not nice at all.....

But Murdoch really is an interesting series. Of course, there's the Historical aspect, and the police procedural aspect that never fails to attract me - and the costumes! And the science! And the characters! Except Julie. But even her I liked..... Regardless of plot - the plot I abhorred....

See, there are instances like this where I've no trouble differentiating between character and plot. And then there are the other times....

Besides. Julia and Grace have almost the best job possible!!

And they are such fun to watch together..... Honestly, brains, blood, poisons...  all in their gowns and corsets.

Have I mentioned the costumes? The costumes are gorgeous. I couldn't vouch for accuracy, but they certainly don't look inaccurate at least. And they are wearing corsets! Whyyyy.....

Irrelevant.

Interestingly enough, the costumes do repeat. Often enough. Which is sensible although I'm probably confusing it with the Medieval time in that regard. But even then, clothes would be expected to repeat.

So.

Anyway.

I have run out of drafts. Imagine that!

With a Bit of Mayhem

There was a film I was made to watch once - never quite understood why. It was an awful, horrid film - terrifying, and I really couldn't recommend it. It was sick and twisted (interesting, but twisted, and not having enough to recommend it to surmount the twistedness....) and creepy.




The above picture is from The Abominable Dr. Phibes - I think. Well, it's the right character at least.

Anyway, the really, really, really terrifying, sick man that I had to watch in that film? Is played by Vincent Price.

But because I was rather young when I had to see it, I didn't notice the name, and so.... Vincent looked familiar, but I'd no idea why.

If it weren't such a horrid film, I'd watch it again. But as it was...  I'll stick to older films. Thank you.



I also figured out why his voice sounds so incredibly familiar. Not enough for me to figure it out on my own - I've always been rather horrid at voices - but enough to connect it after the fact.

He played Dathan's precurser that Moses kills in Cecil B. DeMille's Ten Commandments.

See, how come no one tells me these things? How come no one sits down and tells me about the past? Why must we talk about modern actors, and modern effects, and modern films? They're really not worth it that often....

And why not appreciate the past? It would have been harder to bring the same effects about! It wasn't something that was just.... Well, "we don't cut it up the way they do in film. We play it all the way through."

And then - speaking of Price - John Carradine was also in the film.

He played Moses' brother Aaron and I never ever would have recognised him. He just like.....shrank and squished and....aged. I think that's the best way to put it.

I know him from that lovely movie I keep speaking of: House of Long Shadows  - if it's ever NOT coming up, I'll say, but then it would have come up and so the who thing would be pointless then.....


He's the one in the picture that hasn't shown up before - the older man standing beside Lee.

On a side not, I really miss being able to use references that people get - or at least knowing people that catch the references. It was fun....

But The Ten Commandments will never quite play through the same I think..... Rameses, and Bithia, and Baka, and Moses, and Aaron, and Rameses.....  They're recognisable now! I know them from elsewhere!

I wonder if he ever plays the.... Well, not villain. OR monster.

If anything, the older ones would be fun to watch just for him - he is a good actor.

I'd rewatched House of the Long Shadows the other day, and - although I watched it for Cushing first, he's really a lesser character. Price, on the other hand, is....  Well, constantly soliloquising as he termed it.

Rather pointlessly too - but! That's a different story.

I actually managed to find the Muppet Show episode with Vincent Price too! I do so enjoy those things....

In Order:

That really is a terrific joke - that of the hand.

We tend to do that quite a lot. I'm rather blind without my glasses, and am often teased when others signify a number with their fingers and ask how many they're holding up.

My rejoinder? Unless they've been getting into some business I know naught about and decimating the sparse population hereby, they can't possibly be holding up any fingers.....

I've Heard That Song Before...

Can I just say that Howard really needs to be slapped at times? However, COMPLETELY FORGETTTING DOTTIE was priceless. Actually, what was priceless was Jarvis' and Carter's eye-rolls in response, and Howard ONLY remembering after Jarvis reminded him what he was wearing. Jarvis does not deserve to get slapped in Howard's stead: Howard needs some....  Brains? More usefull than that genius ones? Maybe?

And, look at this I found!!  Alright, completely pointless - BUT! HAT! GLOVES!!!  I love it!!  I actually just made a hat much like that - not that it matters....  I look rather like some vintage airline stewardress when I wear it. 

No, actually. I was trying to make another Film Noir photograph compilation for a character. Of course, as you can - or will - see, I got distracted.

All of what I've learnt in graphic manipulation has been by trial and error. Most early ones I really need to remake - but some were good in their simplicity. Or at least not so horrid.....  Which we were on the subject of Marvel, I tried to find some of my old ones....

First: NONE OF THE TEXT ON THESE PICTURES IS MINE!!  The pictures are mine - well, the compilation at least - but the text comes from a tumblr site of SHIELD recruit survival tips. http://shieldrecruitsurvivaltips.tumblr.com/ A hilarious site, and well worth the read.

Made by Angelique

Tip #22 --  This - and most of these - were made after I saw the promo for the pilot of Agents of SHIELD. And had just found out that Coulson was still alive.

Made by Angelique

OBVIOUSLY written for Tony....  Tip #48

Made by Angelique

Tip #131 --  Again, after the...well, this one is later in the series at least because these images weren't available before. Basically, Ward being condescending to Hill concerning Agent's death....

Made by Angelique

Tip #132 --  I adore that oneshot. It was hilarious, and priceless. And truly perfect. For some reason, a lot of these I always feel were written in some way for Stark....

And now I hate Sitwell - but this was before Hydra....  Well, technically not - but still!

Made by Angelique

Tip #220  .....I don't like this one, really. But it was the first I made, and I might as well include them all, so....  Voila - there it stays. I'll remake it at some point......

Complications

There are some types of people that I really envy. Not in a...'I'd kill you to do what you do or have what you have' but more in a 'I really wish I had the means or the courage to even try to do what you do'.

Actors  These are probably at the top of the list. I adore watching good acting. It is a treat and better than Christmas day. (Actually, most things are better, but that's a different rant...) But it's....horrid. Because I absolutely adored acting and am not nearly so good nor have I the opportunity to do so again.

So while I adore watching good acting, I hate it. It's bittersweet.

Violinists  These are so beautiful and frustrating for the same reason as acting!

Historians  Ah, this lovely group....  I do so love history. Sadly, I just collect random trivia basically. I can just....try.

Historical Writers  This probably extends to simply fiction writers, but I'll keep it simple. But while I can write, and know enough about history that it permeates my writing; I don't know enough about history to convincingly write in a time without my modern upbringing tainting my worldview.

It's...annoying. And sad. Bittersweet, at best.

Which, reminds me of something else....

A complex versus a simple life.

Some people see it as complex, others see it as simple; some people over-complicate, and others over-simplify.

Who's in the right? Is life simple? Is it complex? Should we simplify our problems, or look for complexities?

I know that I probably over-complicate things. I just....  Life isn't black and white. It hasn't been for a very, very long time. It used to be black and white with many shades of grey, and now it's just....mostly shades of grey. God is White, but after that.... Shades of grey.

There are reasons for everything. They aren't always the right reasons, sometimes might not even be sensible reason - but they're still reasons. The end consequences do nothing to negate the reasons that set the person on that path to those consequences.

So looking back, there are always hundreds of shades of grey. what about looking forward?

In the past, there are reasons for actions; in the future, there are choices between actions.

Ah, and there is were 'over-complicating' comes in.

Has anyone played chess? I quite enjoyed it. Not good, but I can play it at least. Now, I was told once that an excellent tip for playing chess well is to plan out the next several moves. In other words, you move a piece, and for every move they might make in answer you have another move to countre theirs and so on for several layers.

Some players are off the cuff of their sleeve. They make each move as it comes, not bothering with planning to countre their opponent's moves.

Others plan out countless moves, allowing for every possible opportunity. They're basically computers, but they consider every possible outcome.

As long as I'm talking Chess, and because there are apparently absolutely no gifs of that scene - there are also the people that don't need to plan out multiple opportunities that may arise because they do not fill the mind with clutter of things that aren't factual, and they can basically know what's going to happen.

The only fun in THAT is when you get two such people to play against each other. The danger is if they ever team up.... (Which, while we're speaking of this - it could just be two people that know each other really well - it's fun to pair them off, especially for them; but if they pair up against another?)

Irrelevant.

But! Chess!

The point being is that choices in life are that way.

Some people don't plan ahead at all. They just do what they feel or know is right. Others can plan a bit further, considering the consequences and rewards a choice will have and basing their decision on that. And then there are others that see multiple choices and options for everything.

Personally? I think those that can just make a decision are blessed. I personally can't. Nothing is simple, and everything has reprucussions and consequences to more than just oneself.

And maybe it's an elder thing - a firstborn thing. maybe it's because we've been told all our lives to care for and protect and teach and be an example for our younger siblings - perhaps it's so ingrained to us that it permeates everything. We can't help considering others.

Ah, nature versus nurture....

I honestly think they're one and the same. What one is taught is the same thing that one is. Especially from those ages.

But that is a matter of which I am ill-qualified to handle or discourse on.

Do I over-complicate things? Does it matter in the end? Is considering what impact my grades or lack thereof will have upon whatever future I might desire over-complicating things? Is considering what impact my absence will have on my family over-complicating it? Is planning on how to avoid damage over-complicating things?

I envy those people with happy homes, or those that can at least pretend it's so better than others. I envy those that don't have to worry about what far-reaching consequences their decisions might have. I envy those that don't have to worry about what dreams they might crush.

And in the end, does it even matter.

The funny thing about choices made is that you can never unmake them. A choice made is the only choice made, and the rest are...fantasy. You can think about what might have changed - but how do you know you wouldn't have ended up at the same end regardless?

We can't ever know. Thus is life.

And if that isn't complex? If life is supposed to be simple? Look at the stars! The galaxies! The Universes!

Or go smaller - look at the cells! The organisms! the elements!

Compared to God? They're simple. Compared to God? Everything's simple. But if that's simple? Then how could we ever begin to comprehend what COMPLICATED is?

And the list of books I want to eventually grows longer.

But no, this is only here because of the words. Because of the insight it has into WWII.

Sorry. Random digression as always. What I get for looking into history again....

It is such an intriguing time.

Have You Ever Buried Someone? (a mess of analogies and what have you....)

Have you ever buried someone?

Not physically.

Not in any way that gets dirt beneath your nails or through your clothes. Not in any way that makes your muscles ache or your palms burn. Not in any real, tangible way.

Just in a way that matters.

One changes as time passes. Sometimes it's sudden, other times slow - but one always does. Those that don't are unnatural.

But when you're a child, there are interests and games you enjoy. Tea parties, or Hotwheels, or Cops and Robbers, or Ghost stories and Barbies - does it really matter? There always comes a point where childhood is set aside. The little boy in t-short and stained shorts and the girl in her ragged princess dress will get shoved further and further back until one is standing beside a grave that was dug and filled in with their own hands.

And this person rarely comes back from the grave, whether as a ghost or a true person again. Once the child is buried, the ground is undisturbed. For some people, this funeral is early. For others, the child lives for many years before it is put to rest.

But none truly miss it when it is buried. In fact, they may be relieved. Later, when they return to the grave, they may regret it - but never in the moment. Then, it is necessary and wanted - whether to fit in with others, or live up to expectations, or simple to take care of those around them.... In the moment, it is necessary.

But this is only the first burial. There are always more. There are many, many more to come. Some are mourned more freely, some are buried in secret, some buried alive, and some are torn away and buried by others - but they all end the same: all lost beneath layers until secrets and truths and history and future is forgotten.

Have you ever had a secret?  As a teenager acted differently when out of your parent's sight? As an adult had a different face for work than in public, and a different face at home than either?

These are all different people.

They have the same foundation, and the same facets - but they are different. Perhaps it's a single interest that would not go over well in the professional world. Perhaps it's a educational interest in highschool that one hides from parents or friends to avoid mockery. Maybe it's a taste in music, or a taste in clothes, or a taste in books, or a love for art - whatever it is, it shapes a different person.

These faces all taken together equal the complete truth - but who can show all these at once? At what point does someone ever feel comfortable enough to show all of their facets, if they even can? To them, each facet shines in a different light - in a different place. To move to another facet is to move to a different light and the original facet no longer shines - it is a different view.

And so the others are buried.

Have you ever buried someone?

Sometimes the funeral is forgotten. Sometimes it is of someone dear. Sometimes it is hasty for a regret. Sometimes is is unsurprising, and other times it's ripped out of you.

But it's always there.

But there is nothing.

Is That What Really Matters?

Please, explain to me how 'Bllyyddpaetwr' becomes phonetically 'Baldpater'? Does Welsh just randomly combine countless consonants to make it impossible  for anyone to pronounce the letters? Have they some vendetta against anyone learning the language? HOW did such a language even get invented? It's not even phonetic! Was it created by three year olds?

And on that note.......

On a side note, HOW DOES ANYONE WRITE A COMPLETED MANUSCRIPT OF A NOVEL IN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS?

Even if we allow for the absolute minimum word count of forty thousand (how would he count it in the first place? He's working on a typewriter!) how does one bother trying to  write even a rough draft of a novel, with working characters and plot, in a genre one has never attempted before, and has no practice in - IT'S BASICALLY IMPOSSIBLE!

And perhaps it's not impossible. Perhaps it's just because I'm incapable of writing simple stories - but I'd have lost the bet.

I'd also have bet for a bit more time - say, a week at the absolute least if I could write without interruptions.

But a DAY?? He's insane.

....my feelings on this subject have nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that I've not finished a single book yet because I've an annoying habit of editing and rewriting as I go along, and of worldbuilding forever.

I have immense fun, of course - why else would I do it - but I never get the story finished!

It irks me.

But real life demands my homage, and so Líker must be set aside for the moment. I'm sure it will come back with a vengeance later.

House of Shadows really is a brilliant film. Especially sticking the main character into the setting. Because it really is overly cliched (purposefully), and he is the very character that viewers always clamour for, (no, don't go into the dark dungeon - WHY do you think that's safe?) and he's seen all the cliche's before, and he's not going to be taken in by the atmospheric conditions.

(Don't watch the film when it's actually thunderstorming - it really is a well done albeit simple film.)

Someone else really does need to watch that film so I can discuss it - because I really do refuse to spoil it.

Which, by the way, if you know the story behind that scene above, you will have the answer to all spoilers I may give. Well, all for anyone that has a chance of finishing the series that is.

But look what I found! Finally!

 I've already made Tom Baker's thirty foot scarf from the Fourth Doctor - I enjoy making what little things I can from fandoms. And this? Even better than Benedict's blue scarf from Sherlock.

Unfortunately, there's no pattern for it.

But! I finally found a full length picture for it!!

It's the same stitch and pattern as the Doctors, and I dare say it's just as wide - but! Now I finally have the length and the ending.

I can make it! Once I get the yarn. Of course. Which means I shan't for quite a while....

On a semi-related note - I ALSO figured out his afghan! Blanket - whatever that thing is.

That was the other thing on my 'to make eventually in my lifetime' list, but that has even less of a pattern than Brett's scarf does. The scarf at least, I found another person that made it before - the afghan had no such documented creation.



The problem was always that I had no idea what the pattern was. The yarn...would have to simple be determined by sight - but naught could be done without a pattern!

And then I saw this picture on the left here: I know that stitch. It's really simple and I've already made about ten afghan's with it - it's the granny square. Or at least that's the name I learnt for it.

So, far from being a shawl as I originally thought, this is actually a blanket. Easy enough to make!

Of course, the problems would be make the small stitches - but..... I could manage that. Another problem would be how often the brown rings are put in - I suppose I should have to watch that episode again....

Granada's Musgrave Ritual was...interesting. A bit inaccurate given that Watson was there, but naught the worse for it. And Holmes was quite amusing throughout the whole thing - a bit sulky and sharp, but amusing. Espcially in that I suspect Watson drug him out to the country - I've really not seen it for a while....

But now I can make those items!!

On another sidenote, look what ELSE I found...

by Egle Marcogliese

It's a series of cocktail and formal gowns for the Batman villainesses Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Harlequin, and....oh, there was one more.... Now I can't remember the thing.

Oh well - it will come to me. Basically, there were four main villainesses.

But she made these cocktail and formal gowns inspired by the comic characters and their costumes.

Sound familiar?

Oh, what would i give to have that dress though - it's absolutely gorgeous!!

And I love the colour scheme. And the fabric. Especially the fabric.

But it caught my eye because it wasn't made as a cosplay - it was just designed marrying comic characters with vintage fashion. And I love it.

And it makes me sad.....

Back to my original point, House of Long Shadows is brilliant - but definitely one to watch more than once. Sadly, I know the end this time adn so it doesn't surprise me - but it's still just as terrifying as it was the first time through. And that's saying a lot for an older film.

However, knowing the end, adds a completely new insight to the characters and the dialogue leading up to the end.

And it's so much more amusing too - especially watching the characters. That was fun the first time through given the caliber of the acting (not of the main characters - but the quartet that is.), but even moreso now that I'm not trying to figure out the ending.

It is, truly superbe. I've a feeling this is  a story I will always enjoy.

And the best thing about it? No horrid romance!

......but I'm not spoiling it. hopefully. (someone, watch it, please? Else I'll memorise the entire film and then heaven help anyone else that sees it....)