The Greatest Show

....Ladies and Gents, this is the moment you've waited for.



Oh, boy.

My apologies to all that are irritated - actually , you know what? I make no apologies. I am sorry I talk through films, but I can't bloody well stop, and I will just make an effort to not watch films with you.

That being said! Oh, this film was awesome. Really weak on the points of showing Barnum's life, but I don't think that was ever the point. The point was family, following your dreams, making your own family, being yourself, standing up for yourself, not conforming to society..... That was the point of the film, and that came out. Money isn't everything, and the blood of the covenant is thicker than the waters of the womb, and you can fulfill your dreams no matter how old you are - it is never to late to change. That was what I came away with, and that is the way I half-expected it to go, so I was not disappointed.

The other half of me expected it to be an awful romance and I was so relieved that was not the case.

And yes, I am unrepetant about singing the songs through the film. It is not my fault that I've already heard the soundtrack about twenty times! It was just really fun.

Also, I am blaming it entirely on Star Wars: WE HAD TO STAND IN LINE OUTSIDE IN THE COLD IT WAS FOUR DEGREES OUTSIDE PEOPLE FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES!!

Okay, so I froze. And i should have brought more cough drops.

Fortunately, we made it into the theatre before the film started, but it was barely a minute to spare.

Literally.

It was worth it. The theatre room was actually almost full too - so strange: usually it's empty! - but it was better because then there are all of these other people here to watch a musical and I wasn't the only one singing the songs!!

"I'm not scared to be seen - I make no apologies. This is me."

No, I am totally not going to be annoying everyone with those songs for the next week at least..... Nope, not at all.

And you know what? You can cry about everything. Trust me, it's a thing. You don't have to have specific reasons to cry, alright? It's okay to just cry. Sometimes you are crying about literally contradictory things: IT IS ALRIGHT!

No, no. Sorry. I have no idea what I am crying about. I don't know what's going on inside me. To be fair, I don't entirely - but I have a good enough grasp to be able to USE the word 'everything'. I mean, sorry, did you want me to enumerate? Shall I go through the list of every little cut you have put on me? Shall I got through every - oh wait, you don't like me whining? I'm so sorry about that - please stop asking then, okay? I can do without your faux care. I'd rather you just leave me alone rather than ask me how I am and then belittle my honest answer. Sorry for burdening you.

You know what your issue is? Get out of yourself, okay? Grow up. Look around. Realise that, sorry, sometimes people can't just 'mind over matter' things away - sometimes the mind is your worst enemy and mind over mind just gives you a headache and leaves you crying for two, three hours straight.

Your mind can be your worst enemy. Your mind can literally be trying to kill you. Your mind can make you doubt every friend you have, and make you hurt them by being unable to trust them. Your mind can make you lash out at the people trying to help you because THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT SORRY YOU CAN'T JUST BUCK UP AT TAKE IT AND BE FINE SUDDENLY!!

But no, sorry, 'everything' isn't an acceptable answer, sorry, you are the expert of course.

You wonder why we fight? Because I bloody well can't talk to you.

"When the sharpest words wanna cut me down I'm gonna send a flood - gonna drown them out. I am brave. I am bruised. I am who I'm meant to be: this is me."