I Fear neither Pain Nor Death

so. Yes. I am still posting on here. More often as I get the hang of typing VERY quickly and organising my thoughts the night before.

and taking a few weeks to publish the finished post.

But I am posting! I actuyally have internet here when I thought I wouldn't.

I know, I know - this does little good since no one is reading this since no one thinks I'm posting....but hey! This is supposed to be my rant into the ether anyway. I'm used to the solitude.

So I FINALLY got to watch the second Lord of the Rings again yesterday (I watched the first about two months ago or something...) and it was kind of....strange how fitting so much was to myself?

maybe it's just that after reading the Anne Shirley books and feeling like someone studied me and my personality and copied it exactly for Anne (seriously. it was disconcerting!), I was a bit more sensitive to that. That, and apparently I have memorised the films WAY too much and nitpicked the whole thing. Don't get me wrong! I still loved it! But seriously! I need their hair-care tips.

Especially since I had to go off of my baking soda shampoo - it was working so well too! But It wasn't cleaning my hair anymore so... *sighs* Back to normal shampoo I go. Now my hair is always greasy, of course....

I seriously just want to cry - I hate greasy hair, but every time I use shampoo, my hair never stays clean! I just want clean hair - how hard is that????

But back to the topic at hand: cages.

I would say that I'm obviously not in the same situation as Eowyn was, but there are too many correlations for that to be true. So I will stick with saying that I don't have right and wrong as easily laid out for me as she did.

But oh..... A cage. I don't fear death, I don't fear pain, I don't fear....much of anything; except nothing. I fear wasting my life, I fear taking inaction and living to bitterly regret it. I would rather step out and fail miserably than stay where I am comfortable and forever wonder 'what if'.

I fear wasting my life. I fear not living the life God would want me to. I fear being miserable. I fear settling for comfort rather than the right thing. I fear.....

I fear a cage. I fear being unwanted, unloved. I fear hurting those around me. I fear doing nothing great with my life - doing nothing worthwhile.

(Of course, if we follow through with the relation to Eowyn, I would love to marry, to have someone love me.... But there isn't a great evil to put me with anyone if there is one so... Sorry, yes, I'm digressing.)

I know. It's a choice. I have to wake up each morning and say: "No. I'm not giving up. I'm going to keep going. I might have no family, no history, no ties, no prospects - but I'm not giving up. I'm going to keep fighting, keep hoping, keep living. I am going to survive this, and I am going to live to see good come of sorrow. To see joy come in the morning."

And that is all that really matters, I think. Keep going. Keep fighting. Wake up each morning and choose to live. Do the best you can with what you're given. Be the best you can with what you are. Live a life to glorify God, live your life to bring honour to him.

What other purpose is there, really? What else has any worth?

It's like running a race. (something that I hate with all within me, by the way.) I'm tired, I'm not as good as the rest, I stumble, i fall, I slow down, I can't breathe.... But I have to keep going, I want to reach the end. Some days I can fly, other days it's all I can do to put one foot in front of the other. But I keep going. It is a conscious choice on my part to cooperate with God, to choose him in everything.

it's a choice I fail at constantly - but it's still a choice I make. I'm well aware I'm not perfect... *sighs*

It would be so easy to give up, to stay where it is comfortable. it would be so easy to stay within the cage. I could get used to it - could tell myself it was where I belonged. I could live with it.

But I would die of it too, and I know that. the end is worth the fight, and I have to remember it. When I want to give up, when I want to stay with what I know: I have to remember that. i can't give in to despair, I can't countenence self-pity. I know the truth and that is what I must hold to. It will be worth it in the end, I know it.

I know it.

A Chance to Show His Quality...

Since this all STARTED with Faramir, I might as well post the pictures with his quote as well.

Edited, of course.

Faramir's gown by Angelique

As stated, this is Faramir's gown. The overdress is barely visible, and tends to meld with the robe - but it is all there. At the least, you can see the colouring and the style. The underdress can be worn alone, of course, and would be well suited for a spring or summer day.



Eowyn's Gown by Angelique

Eowyn's gown - it REALLY should be darker. However, I lost my coloured pencils and had to do this in crayon. Which never cooperates on the best of days.... So, just imagine the blue a midnight blue, and the red much much darker - and it will be perfect! Again, at least you can see the style.

Ellessar Gown by Angelique

And the Ellessar Gown. Faramir's is still my favourite, but this comes a close second currently. And the colours are perfect too!!

Can I just say that I ADORE gowns? The richer the material, the more I love it.

Also, the more expensive it is. Now THAT is rather discouraging.......

I also find it somewhat amusing that I have about eight posts in drafts - that it wil be at least a week before anyone sees these.....

Fear No Darkness, Shieldmaiden of Rohan

Question not your station,

Hold your head up high.

For you it is to smile,

To comfort with each lie.

You are the one who watches,

Who prays for safe return.

Who will guard the homegates

If you leave them to burn?

 

Speak not against your portion,
Hold your head up high.
For you it is to shelter,
To watch while others die.
You are the one that's weeping,
The one that mourns the lost.
Who will sing for the buried
If you go to pay the cost?

 

Answer not for action,
Hold your head up high.
For you it is to live on,
To never even try.
You are the one that's silent,
You bear your own regrets.
Who will recall your service?
The good all men forget.

 

 

Yeah.... Anyway! If I make anything for Faramir, Eowyn's half invariably follows shortly after.

 

Buess what? The Reader gets to be subject to another long, rambling, picture-filled post that's absolutely useless to everyone else!!

 

This is for Eowyn and Theoden mostly, although Rohan sort of got mixed in as well. Not nearly to the extent it was for Faramir though.  This is basically just Eowyn and Theoden.

Alright then! To begin with inspiration! Let's start with the obvious, shall we?

 

This is actually the main inspiration. The colours, the theme, the style.... Basically everything comes from this picture.

 

I did say Theoden had his part too.....  It's hardly my fault she has very. brown. costumes.

 

Except for the Victory Gown, and I couldn't find any good pictures from the film of it.

 

 

 

 

 theodred's Funeral is the other major inspiration.

I ADORE her costume in that scene. Just ignore it's a funeral, alright? She's sad at basically any point.

But the colours! And the hair! And the fashion! And! And!

Funeral Gown

For the longest time, due to the design of the collars, I actually thought that her Funeral Gown and her Green Gown were actually one and the same - thankfully not, because I don't like the Green gown and this looks much better!

So! Two main points of inspiration.

On a side not, I really do love her hairstyle in that scene. And it is almost ridiculously easy to do if you know rope braids. Well, more or less. Those worked best - I couldn't find a picture for the back of her head so I made most of it up based off of Celtic knots.

I love research.

That being said! Back to clothing design.

 The picture on the left is just because she DOES wear the red - and I think the belt came in later.....  I'm not that good of an artist, so....

the picture on the right, however, is what I want the gown to basically be. Except, with a little more colour given that it's a royal gown and not a mourning gown. But, stately - like that.

 And the source of the majority of the embroidery and trim on the gown, as well as the skirt design.


Alright! Inspiration done.

It's really a lot more straightforward than Faramir's Gown was - at least there are better full-length pictures available for Rohan's characters.

The majority of the shape and style does come from Eowyn's funeral gown. The main difference is that the robe is done away with, and there is a visible underskirt. Other than that, and the colours, it's much the same.

The skirt is the same as the one on this orange - red dress over on the left. In fact, if the bodice had a high neckline - a high collar - it would look exactly the same. The underskirt is a dark red, and the overdress midnight blue.

 The dress has a train much like Eowyn's white dress. Just barely there.



 The sleeves are fitted down to the wrists - no bag sleeves. They look nice, they just never turn out well.

No.....

And I ran out of room here too - I'll ramble about sleeves later. Below this mess.




This on the left is the collar.  It will probably be made in a very, very dark red.

Underneath, wrapping around the collar in much the same way the green does in the faery dress below, is a sheer red material that will cross over the arms (basically just like the faery dress) and fall to a robe in the back.


















I did say that picture did a lot.

The v-neck, embroidered collar will be just the same on the gown. It will barely peek out below the crocheted collar, but still.

The cuffs of the sleeves will also be the same, although more fitted. A little above the elbows, there is another band of embroidery, but the sleeves remain fitted.

The embroidery along the edges of the overskirt will ALSO be incorporated. The waist is cinched with a dark red belt.

Alright then! Almost done!

isn't this fun? I think so.

Now, from the top again.

You've seen the collar before, and it would probably be in dark red. Perhaps in a dark gold - but not that close to my face. I look terrible then. Dark blue or even black would also work depending on the depth of the blue velvet.

The overdress and the sleeves will all be made of dark blue velvet. A heavy material, but still rich.

The underskirt and the material beneath the embroidered cuffs and collars and waists is dark red velvet. Again, heavy.

I had thought about brocade, but I didn't want this to be Tudorian. That's just....almost, but still so far off. Velvet works better.


Well, that's about all of the cloths! No, wait - the cloak, or robe. The ornamental whatever you want to call it.


It's organza again - it's the only sheer cloth I know that's somewhat durable and yet still easily bends and folds. Simply sheer cloth tends to be.....ick. Stiff and unravels SO quickly.




The edge of the sheer robe will be covered with the lace below. That lace - or at least that pattern of embroidery - is going to reach a foot up on the skirt of the underskirt.









This next part is rather....confusing?

Rohan is based on Old England. More or less. The embroidery especially reflects this.

This is the embroidery around the wrist cuff of the sleeve. The large part will be on the outside of the cuff, facing away from the body; and the slender parts will fasten underneath. It's not like Theoden's, but it's more feminine and this is INSPIRED by anyway. It looks better.

 

This is the bottom of the embroidered v-neck on the overdress' bodice. It's also basically the only visible part. How it continues up from there is...undecided and probably would be a mixture of the other samples.

 



This is the basic embroidery or trim at the waistline of the overdress, and around the edge hem of the overdress.

This is the lace that will trim the edge of the collar - I'll slightly adapt the pattern, likely.

And this is the embroidery that will go around the upper arm of the sleeve.