I am... well, 'famous' wouldn't be the right word, would it be.... I am infamous for greatly admiring Captain America. No, I don't have a crush on him; I just... I admire him. If he were real, he would be my Saint; as he is fictional..... He exists in that nice foggy area where dreams and reality mesh.
I admire his character, his honour, his virtue, his pride, his diligence... I admire his virtues, his strengths. I see his flaws - or I see how he deals with his flaws. I see in him a template to shape a life after. I see in him a life to be proud of - a life I want to lead. I admire him, and I copy him because I want to be like him. I want to do what is right. I want to stand against bullies, wherever they are. I want to make the world a better place one thing at a time. I want to live my life in such a way that I bring glory to what I live for. I want to do something with my life so that I as a person disappear; but what I did lives on and grows outside me. I want....
he never sought glory for himself. He doesn't seek honour for himself. His is a face for America - for truth and justice and all the ideals that people forget. He only wanted to fight bullies, to protect what was right. He only wanted to do good.
That is his legacy. That is his life - that is all that matters. That was why the character was created. That is why the character is more real than fiction - he IS a face for ideals that are forgotten. He.... Oh, how can I say this without having seen the films....
My dad always said that the best stories came from things timeless - the classics that stood the test of time were all the same story. Look at the pantheons and legends and you will see he's right. Truth always comes back - it always slips in to shine. The best stories are the ones you can live by - the ones you can memorise and take to heart and in the end... In the end, the best stories are the ones that change YOU for the best.
I love Captain America, but Tony Stark....
I hate Stark because I am him.
We are flawed, broken - we look to the standard and we admire it, but we know we can never attain it. We look to perfection and despair. We look to what he wrought, and we try to do the same in our own humble ways; but it never turns out right - it often becomes worse. We go into things with the best of motives, and only end up digging the hole we are in even deeper.
Look at it - many people have pointed out that Tony was almost the Loki to Steve's Thor. (To use another reference to summarise...) What he does is always an attempt to get out of Steve's shadow - unconsciously though the Captain cast it. First, Tony tries by rebelling, and then he tries by imitating.
Then Steve comes back and once again he is in the shadow....
I despise Tony because in a way he is a reflection of what I AM, while Steve is what I WANT to BE. Why would I want to look at the broken self that I already know from the darkest night, when I can fix my eyes on a higher level that I can strive to reach?
and as there is hope for me, there is hope for Tony. Where we are now is not where we were when we started. He is an admirable character now, and I am unrecognisable from when I first stepped out. We are both struggling with our battles, and we fall and fail - but we always get back up. We don't know how to quit.
That more than anything makes us like the Captain.
Someday, we'll learn what matters. Some day we'll learn to put others before ourselves. someday we'll learn that we don't matter. Someday we'll learn to forgive ourselves and let go of our anger and bitterness. Someday....
Someday we'll learn to say: "No. You move."
