Even I would agree and I am generally the Sherlock of my circle of associates: the sociopath. I am rather emotionless and...yeah.
That being said, now that I am allowed to have friends I definitely make an effort to cultivate them. I have friends, I have acquaintances, I have family - albeit adopted. I pray to God I am never so isolated again, and I make an earnest effort to take part in society now - to be social, to have friends.
It's not easy, but hey! I am learning to make decisions, to make boundaries. I am learning to prioritise. (It's adulting. It's REALLY not fun. why do we have to do this???)
But friends.... what is a friend? What friendships are important to work on, and what ones need to be set aside?
This is something I am struggling with and.... Well, I am at a loss. Everyone knows that whom you associate with affects you, but if we should associate with our betters but our betters would not associate with us...
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| "Do not be misled: bad company corrupts good morals." |
More importantly than aspirations or character right now: what about belief? If a friendship cannot find some common ground from which to work for all serious matters, then is it really worth continuing? Is a friendship that is not strong enough to talk about anything that is truly important really worth putting into?
and friendship isn't a marriage. Marriage should be a friendship - but friendship is not a marriage. I have no right to ask my friends to compromise and change for me; nor would I respect them as much if they did. I would rather have an acquaintanceship with someone that could only fight with me rather than a friendship that compromised on what they believed just so they could remain friends with me. But....when a friend does stand up, does stick with beliefs that are so opposed to mine..... what to do then? When we both believe the other is in the wrong, what do we do then?
Suddenly, principles are put to the test and....
Life just cannot be simple, can it.
...to be fair, I am having this problem with a lot of friends. Just in different areas. So....while actually I think most of my friends will read this blog, just...know it's not just you.
*sighs*
THIS IS MY RANTING PAGE! GO AWAY IF IT BOTHERS YOU! Or stop being my friend if I insult you enough, but if you do that, then obviously the friendship was not worth it and that solves my problem. Leaves me in tears, but solves my problem.
But no. It really is bothering me. A friendship that avoids talking about anything serious because one or both sides will not consent to find common ground? How is that a friendship? A friendship that doesn't answer questions because it is pointless or might offend? How is that a real friendship? A friendship that does not take 'no' for an answer, does not respect boundaries? How is that a good friendship?
Don't get me wrong. the Lord knows the mess I bring with me into relationships, but..... The people I have around me - I care about them. I want to know about them, to understand them. I give of myself and want to give to them, to lift them up. I profile people to help them better, so I learn them. Do I agree with all of my friends? Good gracious - no! For one thing, I have an unfortunate habit of meeting people (especially in the fanfiction community) whose sexuality is wrong. I do not agree with their beliefs on that, but...... I am not going to cut off all friendship just because of that. The same goes with lesser things. We are to love people - how are we to love people if we demand they change before they are worthy of that love?
Perhaps a bad example, but nonetheless. I do not hide my beliefs - or I try not to now. and I would not ask any friend to hide or compromise their beliefs either - even ones I believe are totally wrong. That would be wrong of me and I could not do it. Try to convince them, sure; pray for them, absolutely; but..... Not force them to change to keep the friendship. That would be a bad example. And I would not be able to respect or trust them again either.
But there should always be common ground. If not in the same denomination, then in the same faith. If not in the same faith, then in the same morals. If not in the same morals, what in the world have I gotten myself into??
....although, to be fair, it's not an unforeseen situation. *sighs*
I would never quit on this - not on something important. I just wish it wasn't so difficult, so confusing. I wish I didn't have to make decisions for myself - I wish someone could just tell me what to do.
Ah, but there's the rub.... for in that rest what abuse may come?
anyway..... There's my rant for the day....
